There’s going to be a moment (a few moments, actually) that will change the course of your life. Perhaps you won’t know them then, or maybe you will, but eventually, you’ll be able to look back and pinpoint the minute when everything was turned upside down, right side up, or managed to freeze time altogether.
About two months ago I packed my car with only my clothes, a few books, and headed south. I moved a thousand miles away from my hometown, my best friends, and every plan I thought I would follow. A thousand miles from everything I was all too familiar with. It was a swift move; everything happened much faster than I ever expected, but I believe that’s how it had to happen. If I gave myself time to think too much, I never would have left. I had to override my fear just to give myself the push to go.
The humor in not allowing myself enough time to overthink everything was that I spent three days in the car with only my thoughts and carefully compiled playlist to entertain me. This allowed for plenty of panic attacks, existential crises, and numerous U-turns. Yet, I kept driving. I kept breathing at fairly normal pace and I kept the tangent of “what ifs?” to a minimum. There was a moment that gave me the options which lead me here. So, despite the tears and the questions, I changed my course.
It terrified me to not have the answers. Everything was upside down and I thought, “this is where I’ll have to learn to reside.” But then there was another moment. I know exactly where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I have to ability to pinpoint when everything came right side up; when time froze. It turned a new page for me. It allowed me to see something I had always thought was impossible. However, I had the option of not letting that to happen.
That moment that changes your course? It will never be because of someone else. They may influence it or start the dialogue, but that moment is based on your reaction. That moment is the benefit of having choices and the ability to choose. Eventually, you’ll be able to pinpoint all the times you turned your life upside down, right side up, and froze time altogether.
And you know what? All of them are worth it.